My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
