if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They took my balls.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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