I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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