Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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