Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
