i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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