It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize