she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
