you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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