Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
