David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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