Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
