i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
