Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
