fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
