After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
