there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
