dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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