Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
