Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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