well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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