No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
