How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
