Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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