thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
