SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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