I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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