Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
