I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
