nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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