Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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