Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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