We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
