What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
