im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
