Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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