If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
