the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
