Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
