you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
