He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
