Buhtt sex?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
