Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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