So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
