your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize