remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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