He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
