somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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