i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
