I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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