We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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