My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
