we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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