PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
