everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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