I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
