sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
