We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
