can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize