I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
