Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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