Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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