Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
