You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
